Have you ever heard that it takes a village to raise a child? Your teen is no exception to this idea. As your teen grows and learns, she is influenced by her teachers, by peers, by you and by popular culture. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry suggests preparing for the teen years by providing a safe and loving home environment. If grandparents are part of your teen’s extended family or home environment, allow them to step into a role model position to help support your teen’s development and well being.

Grandparents Aren’t Parents
Sometimes, teens simply don’t want to talk to parents about personal issues. Before you allow this to hurt your feelings, try to remember being that age. Did you want to share every hope and fear with your parents? Probably not. Sometimes a grandparent is the perfect person to offer to listen and support teens. Not every conversation has to be about a big issue. A grandparent can also be a fresh sounding board for your teen to talk about her day.

Grandparents Raised You
Grandparents have a special insight into something that likely mystifies your teen: Your own teen years. While you might not want to share tales of your crazy haircut or curfew breaking, they can be important stories to help your teen piece together a full picture of who you are as an individual. Grandparents help teens fill in the blanks as they start to understand that their parents are humans too.

Grandparents Were Teens Once, Too
While grandparents grew up in a different day and age, some aspects of being a teen are universal. As role models, grandparents can talk to teens about the everyday stresses involved with friendship, dating and school. While their lives may seem quaint and far away now, issues like having a crush or not fitting in will always be universal.

Grandparents are Fascinating
Teens may be likely to connect with grandparents over stories and history that are unique to that grandparent. If your teen shows an interest in a grandparent’s hobby or history, provide time for your teen to spend quality time and ask questions. Grandparents can serve as role models regarding hobbies, potential careers and sports. Remember to keep this time between your teen and his grandparents sacred. Don’t pry or ask too many questions.

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During the holidays, when your teen is out of school and you’re spending more time together as a family, actively set an example of the ideals you hold dear. The holidays are a wonderful time to focus on traditions and love. You can teach without preaching—simply by setting a standard of the kind of behavior and thoughtfulness you would like to see reflected in your teen.

Don’t Overindulge
Go ahead and enjoy second helpings of that big home cooked meal. But during holiday gatherings, avoid indulging in too much alcohol. Your teen will be watching you and looking to you for social cues, and the last thing you want to do is demonstrate binge drinking. It might be tempting to hand your teen a glass of wine as an indulgence, but the holidays are no time to make exceptions to important rules.  Bear in mind the risks of underage drinking and try to model a healthy relationship with food and drink. Keep in mind that the holidays may be a time of depression and stress, and check in with your teen.

Respect Friends and Family
At holiday parties and gatherings, you may encounter friends and family you rarely see during the rest of the year. Make introductions and approach them cheerfully. Take time to make polite inquiries. If conversations lull, help direct the topics and involve your teen. She’ll learn by example. The holidays are also an important time to show love and respect to elderly family members. Demonstrate patience and compassion.

Support the Community
Even if money is tight during the holidays, you can find small ways to show your teen the power of giving. Make a small food donation or donate time at a local shelter or assisted living facility. Ask your teen to join you in volunteering. Find out what social issues your teen is interested in and help find ways to focus on them together during the holiday season.

Reduce the Focus on Commercialism
Don’t get too wrapped up in the latest gadgets or hottest presents this year. Help your teen understand that the holidays aren’t dictated by the sales and presents. Teach by example by putting the focus on the time you spend together and the holiday memories you make. You may want to work on holiday cards together or involve your teen in a frugal craft project to help take the focus away from the commercial aspects of the holiday season.

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